Thoughts before June

I’ve been on Eliquis for three months now. After collapsing, though brief, and being hospitalized in February, I’ve been thinking a lot about life and what I want to do. Most of the reactions to my diagnosis from people looking in have been the same:

“You almost died. Are you okay?”

It’s taken me a long time to get over what happened. It took at least a month just to walk around the grocery store without feeling faint. I don’t think I’m okay but I’m better than I was a few weeks ago. And that’s fine. I’ve been trying to keep myself occupied and get back into the swing of life, my hobbies, and the things that brought me joy. I’m looking at a new spice rack to replace our old one that’s broken. I want to completely rearrange and redecorate my room. I finally made a personal site that wasn’t a portfolio. I’m thinking of a slight career pivot. I’m trying to deepen my connections with people who make me happy and care about me. I want to sew again. I want to be me again.

When they say a near-death experience changes you, they mean it. I’m ready to get back up on my feet and hashtag live, laugh, love more. I’m glad to still be here. 🙂